Customer Reviews
Good Premise - Worthwhile Read
The reason I gave this book 4 stars, instead of 5, is that Vanzant's writing style is pretty undisciplined and at times overly indulgent. She spends a lot of time telling loosely related stories, that often lack clear or definitive connection to a thematic point. As many books make things like love TOO academic, by bombarding readers with lists and 'how-tos', VanZant would have been well served to include more practical 'rubber meets the road' advice for her readers.
On the positive side, I think her dual premise is very good. 1) the Meantime (which should be seen as a blessing) is meant as a preparation for the love you desire and 2) you will open yourself to that relationship by experiencing the different facets of love, and focusing on love in general.
I feel like I came out of this book with one very strong benefit. I am more patient and calm in my preparation for the love of my life, rather than feeling fearful and anxious. Additionally, even when I did find this book to be somewhat excessive and even annoying, it only took me about 2 weeks of casual reading to finish it.
All in all, a worthing endeavor.
Finally on the 3rd floor...
I actually SAW Iyanla while she was promoting this book. I cried through the entire lecture because I felt like she was talking to ME...that was 3 years ago. I am now DIVORCED and away from the relationships and ways that kept me in the "basement". I recently bought the audio CD for a friend and listened to it twice...only to realize that I went through every single phase of what she discusses in her book and I've seen the light. Loving yourself is the real message here. I'm so glad that I bought the CD that I'd like to give a copy to all my friends. If you are in need of a spiritual awakening, get this book. Better yet, buy the CD because it's as if she's talking directly to you - it only takes 2 hours of your time and it's well worth the time. I only wish I had the CD and book handy about a year ago while I was in the thick of my divorce. Trust in yourself. Trust in love. Trust in GOD. BUY THIS BOOK.
In the Meantime
This book started out good and really made sense and was positive but eventually, it got a little "out there". For instance, when she was giving an example of a couple who had a long-term relationship and one of them wasn't sure about how he felt and wanted to see other people, her advise was that the person who knew for sure about how he/she felt about the relationship should trust the other enough to let him/her do whatever they need to do to find out, as long as they stay together and supposedly, that's building love and trust. To me, it's saying, "I'm a doormat...walk on me." or can we say the word CODEPENDENT tendencies? BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!! And thank goodness, I'm far into my codependent recovery so as to recognize this; therefore, not buying into it. In the end, I just took what I could use from the book and left the rest but there was a lot left.
